high school

a lot of people say high school is stupid and they can't wait to get out. when i said it this is what i meant.

i know education is important, hence the reason to go to school and complete assignments. i gave a decent effort and i got decent grades. the purpose was to learn but i felt that i only worked to obtain a high GPA or high class rank. it seems like that's the only thing institutions cared about. sure i learned some things, but nights of cramming and studying only resulted in an hour test and then wiping my mind clean in order to make space for more information. it seems to me, "success" is mastering the art of memorization. i've always tried to memorize the materials, i've even used unethical ways to do it. i knew sometimes the concepts were more important but i chose the easier way. i'm 18 and i couldn't be more confused as to what to do.

a lot of people don't know what they want to do in life before they hit college. maybe the reason is because for 12 years, everything thrown at us was made to seem like an assignment. sure you've learned A LOT along the way but was your intent really on learning or was it toward a goal to pass or earn a decent grade.

Pablo Neruda - Saddest Poem

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.

Write, for instance: "The night is full of stars,
and the stars, blue, shiver in the distance."

The night wind whirls in the sky and sings.

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

On nights like this, I held her in my arms.
I kissed her so many times under the infinite sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her.
How could I not have loved her large, still eyes?

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
To think I don't have her. To feel that I've lost her.

To hear the immense night, more immense without her.
And the poem falls to the soul as dew to grass.

What does it matter that my love couldn't keep her.
The night is full of stars and she is not with me.

That's all. Far away, someone sings. Far away.
My soul is lost without her.

As if to bring her near, my eyes search for her.
My heart searches for her and she is not with me.

The same night that whitens the same trees.
We, we who were, we are the same no longer.

I no longer love her, true, but how much I loved her.
My voice searched the wind to touch her ear.

Someone else's. She will be someone else's. As she once
belonged to my kisses.
Her voice, her light body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, true, but perhaps I love her.
Love is so short and oblivion so long.

Because on nights like this I held her in my arms,
my soul is lost without her.

Although this may be the last pain she causes me,
and this may be the last poem I write for her.